Betrayal Trauma
Including "Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender" and Institutional Betrayal
Betrayal Trauma Theory
Betrayal Trauma Theory was developed by Dr Jennifer Freyd. I believe that Betrayal Traumas are part of the mix of personal cumulative impacts that can eventually add up to symptoms and a chronic illness diagnosis, and hence are important to include in considering life histories (although the betrayed person may not be psychological aware of the betrayals, due to the phenomenon of “betrayal blindness”, which we also consider here).
“Betrayal trauma occurs when the people or institutions on which a person depends for survival [including having needs met] significantly violate that person’s trust or well-being: childhood, physical, emotional, or sexual abuse perpetrated by a caregiver are examples of betrayal trauma.
Here, I would say that “caregiver” is in the widest sense of a person who controls whether some essential needs are met, e.g. someone who holds the financial purse strings in an adult relationship, someone without which the person would be alone, etc. It is usually someone the person can not fight nor run away from, at least not without incurring a lot of danger to themselves.
In other words, a trauma perpetrated by someone with whom the victim is close to and reliant upon for support and survival…
“extending to betrayals that are not traditionally considered traumas, such as adultery, inequities in the workplace and society.”
Betrayal Blindness
An important aspect of Betrayal Trauma is the concept of Betrayal Blindness, a form of “willful” or “psychological” blindness.
We humans tend to have very good betrayal and cheating detection, part of our danger sense systems in regards to other people that I have termed “socioception”, which tell us who to avoid interacting with in the future.
However, a problem arises when the betrayer is a “caregiver”, who we can’t run from or fight, and need to keep interacting with.
“Betrayal trauma theory posits that there is a social utility in remaining unaware of abuse when the perpetrator is a caregiver… under some circumstances detecting betrayals may be counter-productive to survival. Specifically, in cases where a victim is dependent on a caregiver, survival may require that she/he remain unaware of the betrayal.”
In the Development Trauma literature, this psychological blindness to abuse or neglect is often discussed as part of childhood trauma, e.g. in the books “Healing Development Trauma” and “When the Body Says No”. Since a child or baby is totally dependent on parents for survival, withdrawal from the caregiver by an abused or neglected child could be fatal, and hence is not an option.
“In the case of childhood … abuse [including neglect], a child who is aware that her/his parent is being abusive may withdraw from the relationship (e.g., emotionally or in terms of proximity). For a child who depends on a caregiver for basic survival, withdrawing may actually be at odds with ultimate survival goals, particularly when the caregiver responds to withdrawal by further reducing caregiving or increasing violence. In such cases, the child's survival would be better ensured by being blind to the betrayal and isolating the knowledge of the event, thus remaining engaged with the caregiver.”
Betrayal Trauma Theory extends these ideas to adult situations. The mechanisms of Betrayal Blindness include dissociation:
“… evidence suggests that dissociation during trauma enables affected individuals to compartmentalize the traumatic experience from their conscious awareness… in the context of Betrayal Trauma, dissociation is conceptualized as an adaptive process aimed to maintain self-preservation and serve as protection against psychological pain.”
It also likely involves confabulation:
“... a memory error consisting of the production of fabricated, distorted, or misinterpreted memories about oneself or the world… with incorrect memories ranging from subtle inaccuracies to surreal fabrications, and may include confusion or distortion in the temporal framing (timing, sequence or duration) of memories… in general, they are very confident about their recollections, even when challenged with contradictory evidence.”
In particular, the left brain hemisphere is extremely good at extreme confabulation, especially when the more truthful right brain hemisphere tends to be rendered offline under traumatic or stressful conditions.
DARVO
The concept of DARVO is integral to Betrayal Trauma Theory.
“DARVO refers to a reaction perpetrators of wrong doing may display in response to being held accountable for their behavior. DARVO stands for ‘Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender’. The perpetrator or offender may Deny the behavior, Attack the individual doing the confronting, and Reverse the roles of Victim and Offender such that the perpetrator assumes the victim role and turns the true victim into an alleged offender.”
Institutional Betrayal and Institutional DARVO
Betrayal may occur at the institutional level, either by individuals in the institution, or systemically, such as enabling or covering up failures.
“Institutions harming those dependent on the institution. Includes the failure to prevent or respond supportively to wrongdoings within the institution when there is a reasonable expectation of protection.”
There are also institutional forms of DARVO.
Examples of institutional betrayal may include being on the receiving end of injustice at the hands of the justice system, being harmed by a doctor or healthcare system, having human rights and freedoms trampled on by governments.
Really enlightening article, Gary, from an institutional perspective. I'm happy to have the acronym DARVO in my back pocket because it makes it a coherent and recognizable pattern, not just three separate behaviors. And the reversal of oppressor and victim is something particularly evident with Israel and Palestinians. Thanks for this.
Hi everybody -- I have noticed that we all are using these abbreviations - DARVO , LBGTQ , even DNC -- and that this is a bad trend for people communicating via web only . IN fact , it is an emergent form because of the typing game , but have you ever noticed that the abbreviations are about the MOST intensive part of the sentence or issue at hand ? Such as abbreviating an important law about tidal heights and rights of passage for fishermen and swimmers accessing the water ways ? Suddenly , that law has an ABC name , known only to insiders . That said , I actually think that we need to constantly refresh and re define issues as they develop , including DARVO , Deny Attack Reverse the Focus from Offender to Victim . Just because it is common , should it be made even more common by giving it a Coca Cola Label ? To me , that just integrates the actions as if they are a normal thing , and they are not . The second rape , when the victim goes to declare the violence , or the double indemnity , when the debt has to be paid twice over -- because of the unfair power between the parties in the original contract . I have been fascinated to learn about the Double Indemnity forced on Haiti , by France , and how it has made the people so amazingly strong . I was speaking to a Hatian man , and said it turns people into fer forge - Wrought Iron , because by being slammed and then slammed again , the easily breakable iron rod , becomes more and more tightly patterned in the molecular structure , and comes out unbreakable . Rather than identify what is going on with the abuser , the one who is actually betraying ( revealing ) the monster that lives inside the criminal , the victim is simply a rod of raw iron being turned into Fer Forge -- ( Fair For Jay ) would be how it is prounounced in french , because that is ultimately what betrayal does to a person , if they are able to step out of the confusion , and re structure their life again . Institutional Betrayal ? I would go so far to say that ALL institutions structure on betrayal , they all can't wait for that moment when they say " We " are more real than " You ." This reverence of the individual is perhaps typically a USA thing , but as a mother of four kids , and ten grand children , I can assure you that each one is their own total and complete self , standing alone , even before they are born . Even people who are co joined , retain this seperate ness of self hood , which is quite fascinating to me . Why did the twins not say "We married Him " -- rather " one married , and the other was her maid of honor " -- So ... sorry not sorry this is long - you know me , Gary - The issue of One Way , in the Christian Faith . I was listening to a pod cast where they were discussing this concept , -- are there many ways to salvation , or only one way ? And so I was contemplating the singularity issue -- and I realized that if one wants to scientifically pin point where is "Consciousness " which many christians call Christ Consciousness , one must go to look where there is such a singularity . I believe that our desire for singularity over rides our survival mechanism , even . It seems that I am going on a tangent , but I am not . Because in the actions of the Betrayor -- I now see the act of the betrayal not as a confrontation of the other , but rather a revelation of the actual belief that that criminal is structuring under . For example , France specifically was using the island of Haiti and the people to suck wealth from , so , that was their goal , and they just did it twice . And got away with it .
Inside of my broken family , after it was all over , the children's father said " It's all about intention " and ultimately , the criminal WANTS to betray ( Reveal ) their true intent and purpose that they had all along , to remain unbroken , to remain singular . Better to break another person and display the power of their game , than have to bifurcate and die .
At the little level , a neighbor puts fencing over their property line onto yours , so what . But when small children are eating dirt cookies to put something in their little bellies , I have no forgiveness - and know that the only way to stop the behavior is to become SELF REVEALING - in other words , reveal the reason why I am able to follow a singular path and not have to destroy others .
This balancing act , in my humble opinion , acted out by Philippe Petit when he walked a tight rope wire on the World Trade Towers , fearlessly , is what it is like -- so totally refined , so totally illegal , so totally dangerous , yet for some reason -- walking in the clouds . This is the way to fight the criminals , walk the singular path laid out for us .
Back to my original rant , DARVO sounds like and seems to spell DEVIL , and this we do not need to really focus on , it is not going to help . The purified light that makes the most chaotic scene in the world filled with peace and order , that is the filter we need to look through .