Mar 30, 2023·edited Mar 30, 2023Liked by Gary Sharpe
Personally, I regard it as unrealistic to expect institutions to stop violating personal boundaries. Once they've embarked on a pathway of doing so, and gotten away with it, they will inevitably continue and this has to be recognised.
The whole learning is that, as an individual, you must Push TF Back!
If you don't hold your own boundaries clearly yourself, you may end up giving your power away to any entity who tells you they will do it for you, potentially setting up yet another round of violations.
Institutions don't need to change. We need to change. Then the institutions will have to change. This is how life works.
This idea is moving - affirm the feelings that they are not safe in their own bodies, and tells them that there is indeed something wrong with their body [recall from part one that “not feeling safe in ones own body” is a cardinal sign of a damaged personal boundary]; - overflowing with toxic food, water, instructions and no doubt about it.
Excellent info, Gary and couldn't agree more with your summary.
Awareness first and then no longer complying.
It's a pressure-cooker out there and I imagine it will implode. For those who get through, we will need to reorient back to self-sovereignty, which is no small thing in this environment.
This is an excellent essay. It put together many of the sorts of concepts and ideas I have been pointing out over the last three years. Hopefully it is in a form people can understand to make changes in their lives. Hopefully they do make these adjustments and move on to healthier behaviour.
This is good stuff. From my world, I see how the problems of personal boundaries are manifested. There is the breakdown of authority and accountability. In an institutional setting, the boundary layer is oriented around power, not relationships. So, those in power can violate the personal boundaries of those under their authority, who, at the extreme, have no say so in how authority is managed. This is changing at the relational level. With hybrid work environments, establishing appropriate boundary relations has a chance of being achieved.
A few things about boundaries worth keeping in mind:
- healthy boundaries are essential to life
- no boundary is perfect
- many of our boundaries need to change as we go through life.
- individuals need healthy boundaries of body, mind, emotions, spirits and community to maintain healthiness, to survive and grow
- communities need health boundaries to maintain the community and grow.
- community boundaries can be healthy for the community, for it's growth and security, while they are unhealthy for many even for all individuals in the community and even the community. The healthy boundaries for a cancer will lead to the death of the individual cells and the cancer cell community when it kills the host.
- government organizations are communities
- the basic functions of a boundary are the same for a single cell as they are for a government - citizen boundary. Individual cells need boundaries between themselves and their environments to survive, citizens need boundaries between themselves and their community and governmental environments to survive.
- a health boundary has four basic functions
1. To keep unhealthy things out, from unhealthy chemicals to unhealthy life entities. And unhealthy ideas.
2. To get rid of unhealthy things that are inside.
3. To let healthy things in.
4. To keep healthy things in to foster their growth.
Healthy and unhealthy are judgements that vary by individual and can change over time.
What one individual or community sees as a boundary violation might be seen as a healthy boundary activity by another individual or community.
Individuals and communities need to protect and maintain their healthy boundaries - a failure to do so can lead to illness or death of the individual or community. Sometimes, it's best for an individual or community to die.
Very informative and educational. It's reaffirming to me to see others referencing social sciences, psychology and behavioural control regurlarly of late. I've been winding my way through the same psycho-social behavioural paths recently too.
Mar 30, 2023·edited Mar 30, 2023Liked by Gary Sharpe
Hi Gary.
Now that my teaching contract has finished, I am just now getting back into the reading-writing saddle again. With not quite the resources to give this post the due diligence it deserves, I skimmed down to the list of controlling behaviors ... surprised, and not ... to see a high correlation with work place management techniques here in Japan, and I suspect in most countries.
Institutions are faux-communities. Though their rules or laws, may be practical, they are provisional, and a poor proxy for empathy. I've been playing around with ChatGPT4, and see this veneer of quality growing thinner ... at the world scale, as thin as the veil separating the living from the dead on Samhain night ... increasingly surrounded by those who've sold their soul.
Although I may be simply giving a solipsistic vision of my own occasional self-destructive, nihilistic tendencies, I suspect the default of not only systems and institutions, but of rationality itself, is a bite from the forbidden fruit ... and we are fighting a rear guard action in the ebb and flow of enlightenment values.
Depending on you and a handful of others to keep the good light burning.
It seems to me that many people have no understanding of boundaries other than to use the word as a weapon. "You need to respect my boundaries" is thrown around like a mantra. There's a huge difference between boundaries and fences!
Personally, I regard it as unrealistic to expect institutions to stop violating personal boundaries. Once they've embarked on a pathway of doing so, and gotten away with it, they will inevitably continue and this has to be recognised.
The whole learning is that, as an individual, you must Push TF Back!
If you don't hold your own boundaries clearly yourself, you may end up giving your power away to any entity who tells you they will do it for you, potentially setting up yet another round of violations.
Institutions don't need to change. We need to change. Then the institutions will have to change. This is how life works.
I'm gardening without a license!
This idea is moving - affirm the feelings that they are not safe in their own bodies, and tells them that there is indeed something wrong with their body [recall from part one that “not feeling safe in ones own body” is a cardinal sign of a damaged personal boundary]; - overflowing with toxic food, water, instructions and no doubt about it.
I think elites are fascists.
Awesome stack thanks.
Excellent info, Gary and couldn't agree more with your summary.
Awareness first and then no longer complying.
It's a pressure-cooker out there and I imagine it will implode. For those who get through, we will need to reorient back to self-sovereignty, which is no small thing in this environment.
Thank you for this thoughtful essay.
This is an excellent essay. It put together many of the sorts of concepts and ideas I have been pointing out over the last three years. Hopefully it is in a form people can understand to make changes in their lives. Hopefully they do make these adjustments and move on to healthier behaviour.
This is good stuff. From my world, I see how the problems of personal boundaries are manifested. There is the breakdown of authority and accountability. In an institutional setting, the boundary layer is oriented around power, not relationships. So, those in power can violate the personal boundaries of those under their authority, who, at the extreme, have no say so in how authority is managed. This is changing at the relational level. With hybrid work environments, establishing appropriate boundary relations has a chance of being achieved.
Well said, Gary Sharpe. We are in a heap of trouble because we have not watched our backs.
A few things about boundaries worth keeping in mind:
- healthy boundaries are essential to life
- no boundary is perfect
- many of our boundaries need to change as we go through life.
- individuals need healthy boundaries of body, mind, emotions, spirits and community to maintain healthiness, to survive and grow
- communities need health boundaries to maintain the community and grow.
- community boundaries can be healthy for the community, for it's growth and security, while they are unhealthy for many even for all individuals in the community and even the community. The healthy boundaries for a cancer will lead to the death of the individual cells and the cancer cell community when it kills the host.
- government organizations are communities
- the basic functions of a boundary are the same for a single cell as they are for a government - citizen boundary. Individual cells need boundaries between themselves and their environments to survive, citizens need boundaries between themselves and their community and governmental environments to survive.
- a health boundary has four basic functions
1. To keep unhealthy things out, from unhealthy chemicals to unhealthy life entities. And unhealthy ideas.
2. To get rid of unhealthy things that are inside.
3. To let healthy things in.
4. To keep healthy things in to foster their growth.
Healthy and unhealthy are judgements that vary by individual and can change over time.
What one individual or community sees as a boundary violation might be seen as a healthy boundary activity by another individual or community.
Individuals and communities need to protect and maintain their healthy boundaries - a failure to do so can lead to illness or death of the individual or community. Sometimes, it's best for an individual or community to die.
Very informative and educational. It's reaffirming to me to see others referencing social sciences, psychology and behavioural control regurlarly of late. I've been winding my way through the same psycho-social behavioural paths recently too.
Hi Gary.
Now that my teaching contract has finished, I am just now getting back into the reading-writing saddle again. With not quite the resources to give this post the due diligence it deserves, I skimmed down to the list of controlling behaviors ... surprised, and not ... to see a high correlation with work place management techniques here in Japan, and I suspect in most countries.
Institutions are faux-communities. Though their rules or laws, may be practical, they are provisional, and a poor proxy for empathy. I've been playing around with ChatGPT4, and see this veneer of quality growing thinner ... at the world scale, as thin as the veil separating the living from the dead on Samhain night ... increasingly surrounded by those who've sold their soul.
Although I may be simply giving a solipsistic vision of my own occasional self-destructive, nihilistic tendencies, I suspect the default of not only systems and institutions, but of rationality itself, is a bite from the forbidden fruit ... and we are fighting a rear guard action in the ebb and flow of enlightenment values.
Depending on you and a handful of others to keep the good light burning.
Cheers Gary.
steve
It seems to me that many people have no understanding of boundaries other than to use the word as a weapon. "You need to respect my boundaries" is thrown around like a mantra. There's a huge difference between boundaries and fences!