Personally, I regard it as unrealistic to expect institutions to stop violating personal boundaries. Once they've embarked on a pathway of doing so, and gotten away with it, they will inevitably continue and this has to be recognised.
The whole learning is that, as an individual, you must Push TF Back!
If you don't hold your own boundaries clearly yourself, you may end up giving your power away to any entity who tells you they will do it for you, potentially setting up yet another round of violations.
Institutions don't need to change. We need to change. Then the institutions will have to change. This is how life works.
My first thought on reading through this article is that the system defaults naturally to the violation of personal boundaries. That is its default setting. We can't change that. It is an inherent property of our current (corrupted) system of governance and education. As Devaraj says, the only way to counter this is to strongly resist, on an individual and familial level, state and institutional impositions upon our personal boundaries, forcing fundamental change to the system of governance such that the default setting switches back to non-violation. It's an organic process, an evolutionary process. Those who still possess intact personal boundaries must act as powerful catalysts for change, particularly in regard to raising their children, who will be the agents who drive through that change.
Yes Gary, it does. What doesn't come across quite so clearly is the essential unblinking nature of the current system which is the product of a powerful synergistic relationship between society in general and a host of self-selected malign actors in positions of power within the system. This has taken decades to evolve and it will more than likely take many years to correct which, as you point out, starts with us, resisting the system and educating those victims of the system who might respond positively.
One of the things about carrying around invasion wounds is that they tend to dispose a person towards one of two behaviours. Either constantly fighting with authority and hierarchies. Or constantly feeling disempowered around them. The presence of institutional power drives us into the wound, whichever way we orientate towards it. They stop us from lying to ourselves. And this is the only way we can heal. That's why institutions are currently so necessary for human development.
There's a flip side to this: the possibility that repeated tolerable dose exposure to a poison (authority) may in fact blunt our immune response to a more dangerous or lethal dose. I'm thinking this is what may have happened with Covid with the majority of people. I've never been able to tolerate even low doses of authority and I believe this is what saved me from being sucked deep into the Covid drama. Considering Devaraj's comment above, I wonder does this signify that I am suffering from some early 'invasion wound'? I can't personally recall any instance of my personal space being violated; on the contrary, it seems to me that it has always been fairly intact. Fascinating all the same.
Interesting and thought provoking perspective... the sense of these faceless entities (created by humans) existing as "provocateur" energies to help us to evolve and stand in our rights. Right now I see the need for peaceful and disruptive warriorship from those who have embarked on the work to reclaim and fortify healthy boundaries. We are many...
This idea is moving - affirm the feelings that they are not safe in their own bodies, and tells them that there is indeed something wrong with their body [recall from part one that “not feeling safe in ones own body” is a cardinal sign of a damaged personal boundary]; - overflowing with toxic food, water, instructions and no doubt about it.
Excellent info, Gary and couldn't agree more with your summary.
Awareness first and then no longer complying.
It's a pressure-cooker out there and I imagine it will implode. For those who get through, we will need to reorient back to self-sovereignty, which is no small thing in this environment.
This is an excellent essay. It put together many of the sorts of concepts and ideas I have been pointing out over the last three years. Hopefully it is in a form people can understand to make changes in their lives. Hopefully they do make these adjustments and move on to healthier behaviour.
This is good stuff. From my world, I see how the problems of personal boundaries are manifested. There is the breakdown of authority and accountability. In an institutional setting, the boundary layer is oriented around power, not relationships. So, those in power can violate the personal boundaries of those under their authority, who, at the extreme, have no say so in how authority is managed. This is changing at the relational level. With hybrid work environments, establishing appropriate boundary relations has a chance of being achieved.
Hmm I left a reply but it seems to have disappeared. I will try again. Yes, I agree that authority and accountability have become disconnected, as have rights and responsibilities. Do you have a link to a post about hybrid work environments?
A few things about boundaries worth keeping in mind:
- healthy boundaries are essential to life
- no boundary is perfect
- many of our boundaries need to change as we go through life.
- individuals need healthy boundaries of body, mind, emotions, spirits and community to maintain healthiness, to survive and grow
- communities need health boundaries to maintain the community and grow.
- community boundaries can be healthy for the community, for it's growth and security, while they are unhealthy for many even for all individuals in the community and even the community. The healthy boundaries for a cancer will lead to the death of the individual cells and the cancer cell community when it kills the host.
- government organizations are communities
- the basic functions of a boundary are the same for a single cell as they are for a government - citizen boundary. Individual cells need boundaries between themselves and their environments to survive, citizens need boundaries between themselves and their community and governmental environments to survive.
- a health boundary has four basic functions
1. To keep unhealthy things out, from unhealthy chemicals to unhealthy life entities. And unhealthy ideas.
2. To get rid of unhealthy things that are inside.
3. To let healthy things in.
4. To keep healthy things in to foster their growth.
Healthy and unhealthy are judgements that vary by individual and can change over time.
What one individual or community sees as a boundary violation might be seen as a healthy boundary activity by another individual or community.
Individuals and communities need to protect and maintain their healthy boundaries - a failure to do so can lead to illness or death of the individual or community. Sometimes, it's best for an individual or community to die.
"The law is very simple, we cause no harm, no loss, no injury. We have to act responsibly and proportionally in all circumstances. We are honourable in our contracts.
Our rights end where another person's begins. No one is above any one else under the law.
Our inalienable rights are those that we need to exist, survive, stay also,
hrive. We need water, food, clean air to breath, to be able to protect ourselves,self-defence, shelter, bodily autonomy so no-one touch us if we don't want them to.
All the other rights is everything which is not a wrong. The law is to cause no harm, no loss, no injury, that's a wrong to do these. So if you are not doing any of these things, everything else is your right."
Very informative and educational. It's reaffirming to me to see others referencing social sciences, psychology and behavioural control regurlarly of late. I've been winding my way through the same psycho-social behavioural paths recently too.
Now that my teaching contract has finished, I am just now getting back into the reading-writing saddle again. With not quite the resources to give this post the due diligence it deserves, I skimmed down to the list of controlling behaviors ... surprised, and not ... to see a high correlation with work place management techniques here in Japan, and I suspect in most countries.
Institutions are faux-communities. Though their rules or laws, may be practical, they are provisional, and a poor proxy for empathy. I've been playing around with ChatGPT4, and see this veneer of quality growing thinner ... at the world scale, as thin as the veil separating the living from the dead on Samhain night ... increasingly surrounded by those who've sold their soul.
Although I may be simply giving a solipsistic vision of my own occasional self-destructive, nihilistic tendencies, I suspect the default of not only systems and institutions, but of rationality itself, is a bite from the forbidden fruit ... and we are fighting a rear guard action in the ebb and flow of enlightenment values.
Depending on you and a handful of others to keep the good light burning.
It seems to me that many people have no understanding of boundaries other than to use the word as a weapon. "You need to respect my boundaries" is thrown around like a mantra. There's a huge difference between boundaries and fences!
Personally, I regard it as unrealistic to expect institutions to stop violating personal boundaries. Once they've embarked on a pathway of doing so, and gotten away with it, they will inevitably continue and this has to be recognised.
The whole learning is that, as an individual, you must Push TF Back!
If you don't hold your own boundaries clearly yourself, you may end up giving your power away to any entity who tells you they will do it for you, potentially setting up yet another round of violations.
Institutions don't need to change. We need to change. Then the institutions will have to change. This is how life works.
Yes, I agree with this, and is what I was trying to get at in the last section of the article.
My first thought on reading through this article is that the system defaults naturally to the violation of personal boundaries. That is its default setting. We can't change that. It is an inherent property of our current (corrupted) system of governance and education. As Devaraj says, the only way to counter this is to strongly resist, on an individual and familial level, state and institutional impositions upon our personal boundaries, forcing fundamental change to the system of governance such that the default setting switches back to non-violation. It's an organic process, an evolutionary process. Those who still possess intact personal boundaries must act as powerful catalysts for change, particularly in regard to raising their children, who will be the agents who drive through that change.
Agreed, does this not come across from article?
Yes Gary, it does. What doesn't come across quite so clearly is the essential unblinking nature of the current system which is the product of a powerful synergistic relationship between society in general and a host of self-selected malign actors in positions of power within the system. This has taken decades to evolve and it will more than likely take many years to correct which, as you point out, starts with us, resisting the system and educating those victims of the system who might respond positively.
One of the things about carrying around invasion wounds is that they tend to dispose a person towards one of two behaviours. Either constantly fighting with authority and hierarchies. Or constantly feeling disempowered around them. The presence of institutional power drives us into the wound, whichever way we orientate towards it. They stop us from lying to ourselves. And this is the only way we can heal. That's why institutions are currently so necessary for human development.
"Invasion wounds" - I like this as a concept. Interesting idea that the institutions may be acting as a hormesis agent!
There's a flip side to this: the possibility that repeated tolerable dose exposure to a poison (authority) may in fact blunt our immune response to a more dangerous or lethal dose. I'm thinking this is what may have happened with Covid with the majority of people. I've never been able to tolerate even low doses of authority and I believe this is what saved me from being sucked deep into the Covid drama. Considering Devaraj's comment above, I wonder does this signify that I am suffering from some early 'invasion wound'? I can't personally recall any instance of my personal space being violated; on the contrary, it seems to me that it has always been fairly intact. Fascinating all the same.
An institutional IgG4 anti-body [immune tolerance] response!
Interesting and thought provoking perspective... the sense of these faceless entities (created by humans) existing as "provocateur" energies to help us to evolve and stand in our rights. Right now I see the need for peaceful and disruptive warriorship from those who have embarked on the work to reclaim and fortify healthy boundaries. We are many...
I'm gardening without a license!
This idea is moving - affirm the feelings that they are not safe in their own bodies, and tells them that there is indeed something wrong with their body [recall from part one that “not feeling safe in ones own body” is a cardinal sign of a damaged personal boundary]; - overflowing with toxic food, water, instructions and no doubt about it.
I think elites are fascists.
Awesome stack thanks.
Excellent info, Gary and couldn't agree more with your summary.
Awareness first and then no longer complying.
It's a pressure-cooker out there and I imagine it will implode. For those who get through, we will need to reorient back to self-sovereignty, which is no small thing in this environment.
Thank you for this thoughtful essay.
People like us that respect boundaries will be around for those people to learn from.
Some might never learn and will continue to control or follow others.
This is an excellent essay. It put together many of the sorts of concepts and ideas I have been pointing out over the last three years. Hopefully it is in a form people can understand to make changes in their lives. Hopefully they do make these adjustments and move on to healthier behaviour.
Yes, agree there are common themes... I am currently working through your back catalogue of posts! :-)
Hah. Brave of you! Even I don’t do that. I was hoping others would expand on some of this. :-)
This is good stuff. From my world, I see how the problems of personal boundaries are manifested. There is the breakdown of authority and accountability. In an institutional setting, the boundary layer is oriented around power, not relationships. So, those in power can violate the personal boundaries of those under their authority, who, at the extreme, have no say so in how authority is managed. This is changing at the relational level. With hybrid work environments, establishing appropriate boundary relations has a chance of being achieved.
Hmm I left a reply but it seems to have disappeared. I will try again. Yes, I agree that authority and accountability have become disconnected, as have rights and responsibilities. Do you have a link to a post about hybrid work environments?
I don’t have a specific link on hybrid work environments. Just my conversations with people.
Well said, Gary Sharpe. We are in a heap of trouble because we have not watched our backs.
A few things about boundaries worth keeping in mind:
- healthy boundaries are essential to life
- no boundary is perfect
- many of our boundaries need to change as we go through life.
- individuals need healthy boundaries of body, mind, emotions, spirits and community to maintain healthiness, to survive and grow
- communities need health boundaries to maintain the community and grow.
- community boundaries can be healthy for the community, for it's growth and security, while they are unhealthy for many even for all individuals in the community and even the community. The healthy boundaries for a cancer will lead to the death of the individual cells and the cancer cell community when it kills the host.
- government organizations are communities
- the basic functions of a boundary are the same for a single cell as they are for a government - citizen boundary. Individual cells need boundaries between themselves and their environments to survive, citizens need boundaries between themselves and their community and governmental environments to survive.
- a health boundary has four basic functions
1. To keep unhealthy things out, from unhealthy chemicals to unhealthy life entities. And unhealthy ideas.
2. To get rid of unhealthy things that are inside.
3. To let healthy things in.
4. To keep healthy things in to foster their growth.
Healthy and unhealthy are judgements that vary by individual and can change over time.
What one individual or community sees as a boundary violation might be seen as a healthy boundary activity by another individual or community.
Individuals and communities need to protect and maintain their healthy boundaries - a failure to do so can lead to illness or death of the individual or community. Sometimes, it's best for an individual or community to die.
I think this is where natural law comes in...
"The law is very simple, we cause no harm, no loss, no injury. We have to act responsibly and proportionally in all circumstances. We are honourable in our contracts.
Our rights end where another person's begins. No one is above any one else under the law.
Our inalienable rights are those that we need to exist, survive, stay also,
hrive. We need water, food, clean air to breath, to be able to protect ourselves,self-defence, shelter, bodily autonomy so no-one touch us if we don't want them to.
All the other rights is everything which is not a wrong. The law is to cause no harm, no loss, no injury, that's a wrong to do these. So if you are not doing any of these things, everything else is your right."
Very informative and educational. It's reaffirming to me to see others referencing social sciences, psychology and behavioural control regurlarly of late. I've been winding my way through the same psycho-social behavioural paths recently too.
Hi Gary.
Now that my teaching contract has finished, I am just now getting back into the reading-writing saddle again. With not quite the resources to give this post the due diligence it deserves, I skimmed down to the list of controlling behaviors ... surprised, and not ... to see a high correlation with work place management techniques here in Japan, and I suspect in most countries.
Institutions are faux-communities. Though their rules or laws, may be practical, they are provisional, and a poor proxy for empathy. I've been playing around with ChatGPT4, and see this veneer of quality growing thinner ... at the world scale, as thin as the veil separating the living from the dead on Samhain night ... increasingly surrounded by those who've sold their soul.
Although I may be simply giving a solipsistic vision of my own occasional self-destructive, nihilistic tendencies, I suspect the default of not only systems and institutions, but of rationality itself, is a bite from the forbidden fruit ... and we are fighting a rear guard action in the ebb and flow of enlightenment values.
Depending on you and a handful of others to keep the good light burning.
Cheers Gary.
steve
It seems to me that many people have no understanding of boundaries other than to use the word as a weapon. "You need to respect my boundaries" is thrown around like a mantra. There's a huge difference between boundaries and fences!