Very interesting. I have long been interested in, I believe it's called, neuro-biology - anyway, the way our experiences connect to how our brains are "wired" - and all the ways that is malleable. You've put together an enormous amount into one place. Fabulous. Something to play with when I take a day off.
It is surprisingly common for folks to feel this way, mainly because none of us have been taught about the evolved needs of infants. The "Dr Spock" [the child psychologist not the Vulcan] thing of letting the baby cry is one example of something which is totally against nature. If you start down the rabbit hole you will quickly find this is yet another area where things have been set up to keep us down and prevent human flourishing [which is now leading to the destruction of families whole sale]. Suggested next step for you is Dr Gabor Mate's work or the whole area of Adverse Childhood Experiences [ https://garysharpe.substack.com/p/adverse-experiences-stressful-episodes ]. ps congrats on the orange tickmark!
Nov 6, 2022·edited Nov 6, 2022Liked by Gary Sharpe
Please, no apologies. I did not mean to say that it was upsetting or disturbing. I cried because the results were couched in positive terms, where I have always seen my 'attributes' as negatives. The results were very affirming. So thank you, from the bottom of my heart.
Gary - the book you recommend: Healing Developmental Trauma: How Early Trauma Affects Self-Regulation, Self-Image, and the Capacity for Relationship — some reviews indicate a strong emphasis on the connective developmental trauma. Would it be equally helpful with regard to attunement trauma, can you advise, at all? Regards, J
It is true that the emphasis is on the connection style, it nevertheless is still comprehensive and each style gets its own chapter. I am still finding golden nuggets all these years later...
One of the most insightful studies that has helped me, is Dr Aron’s Highly Sensitive People. Helpful in so many ways, it Also explains why HSPs are so uncomfortable in the culture you describe in your latest post About the Orwellian / Huxleyian dystopia. Your nudges (!) towards childhood developmental trauma have been very valuable, adding a layer of perception that rounded out my responses to an area of resistance. But I’m reluctant to invest too much in other methodologies because the HSP perspective is so little recognised and often leads one being short changed. (Don’t know if that makes sense?). Are you familiar with Dr Aron’s HSP work?
Oh wow. Yes; would love to hear your thoughts on that, in due course. For me, it’s a missing element for those affected and’s so liberating to recognise. Http://hsperson.com I believe.
What's missing in this excellent integration of information of trauma-related material is ATTACHMENT STYLES from the work of John Bowlby, Mary Ainsworth, and Mary Main/Erik Hesse. I have written three books on this topic: Healing Developmental Trauma: A Systems Approach to Counseling Individuals, Couples, and Families (out of print), Developmental Trauma: The Game Changer in the Mental Health Profession, and LOVEvolution: A Heart Centered Approach for Healing Developmental Trauma. They address not only the core causes of developmental trauma, but the important "how to HEAL" (not treat) it. The 3rd book is written from my personal and clinical experiences -- a testimonial that DT can be healed, not just diagnosed.
Thank you so much for this info. I am peripherally aware of Bowlby's work (of the Still Face Experiment?), but not I depth. I agree I have missed this, and will work on rectifying. I am going to look for your books now...
I wish we can all become Willow trees, maybe even before the hurricane comes! And bend with the wind we have no control over. 🌱
Thanks for the wonderful metaphors.
Very interesting. I have long been interested in, I believe it's called, neuro-biology - anyway, the way our experiences connect to how our brains are "wired" - and all the ways that is malleable. You've put together an enormous amount into one place. Fabulous. Something to play with when I take a day off.
So, there I was thinking I had a good childhood and then I tick most of the boxes in every category of NARM?! Hmmm....
It is surprisingly common for folks to feel this way, mainly because none of us have been taught about the evolved needs of infants. The "Dr Spock" [the child psychologist not the Vulcan] thing of letting the baby cry is one example of something which is totally against nature. If you start down the rabbit hole you will quickly find this is yet another area where things have been set up to keep us down and prevent human flourishing [which is now leading to the destruction of families whole sale]. Suggested next step for you is Dr Gabor Mate's work or the whole area of Adverse Childhood Experiences [ https://garysharpe.substack.com/p/adverse-experiences-stressful-episodes ]. ps congrats on the orange tickmark!
Thank you for this. I took the 16 personalities test. Results made me cry.
Sorry about that!, didn't realize it could be upsetting :-( [ I came up as INFP-T type on the test ]
Please, no apologies. I did not mean to say that it was upsetting or disturbing. I cried because the results were couched in positive terms, where I have always seen my 'attributes' as negatives. The results were very affirming. So thank you, from the bottom of my heart.
I came up INFJ-T
Thank you for writing this.
Gary - the book you recommend: Healing Developmental Trauma: How Early Trauma Affects Self-Regulation, Self-Image, and the Capacity for Relationship — some reviews indicate a strong emphasis on the connective developmental trauma. Would it be equally helpful with regard to attunement trauma, can you advise, at all? Regards, J
It is true that the emphasis is on the connection style, it nevertheless is still comprehensive and each style gets its own chapter. I am still finding golden nuggets all these years later...
One of the most insightful studies that has helped me, is Dr Aron’s Highly Sensitive People. Helpful in so many ways, it Also explains why HSPs are so uncomfortable in the culture you describe in your latest post About the Orwellian / Huxleyian dystopia. Your nudges (!) towards childhood developmental trauma have been very valuable, adding a layer of perception that rounded out my responses to an area of resistance. But I’m reluctant to invest too much in other methodologies because the HSP perspective is so little recognised and often leads one being short changed. (Don’t know if that makes sense?). Are you familiar with Dr Aron’s HSP work?
Should have wrote: “Often leads one to FEELING short changed”
No, I have not heard of this before, will definitely check it out!
Oh wow. Yes; would love to hear your thoughts on that, in due course. For me, it’s a missing element for those affected and’s so liberating to recognise. Http://hsperson.com I believe.
What's missing in this excellent integration of information of trauma-related material is ATTACHMENT STYLES from the work of John Bowlby, Mary Ainsworth, and Mary Main/Erik Hesse. I have written three books on this topic: Healing Developmental Trauma: A Systems Approach to Counseling Individuals, Couples, and Families (out of print), Developmental Trauma: The Game Changer in the Mental Health Profession, and LOVEvolution: A Heart Centered Approach for Healing Developmental Trauma. They address not only the core causes of developmental trauma, but the important "how to HEAL" (not treat) it. The 3rd book is written from my personal and clinical experiences -- a testimonial that DT can be healed, not just diagnosed.
Thank you so much for this info. I am peripherally aware of Bowlby's work (of the Still Face Experiment?), but not I depth. I agree I have missed this, and will work on rectifying. I am going to look for your books now...
Any plans to begin writing on Substack, Janae?! It's there a link to those books. Third one in particular sounds interesting.