I think pretty much everyone I know can relate to this. Indeed while reading it different people in my life came to mind, myself included.
It points to, a deeper level of dysfunction at a world level, the world we are born into, where we are all subjected to an 'abusive' terrain and are attempting to adjust to it before we have any map or even conscious understanding. It's a traumatic place. Even with good intentions, love and compassion present, we swim in this, as do our foundational care givers.
Helpful information. I appreciate your sharing resources that have proven helpful to you.
Thanks. I agree we have created`a dysfunctional "mirror" world, where trauma and abuse are normalized. It seems this has been/is being done on purpose to the younger generations, and I worry that if Gen X can't turn things around in our lifetime, it maybe too late.
Ancestral trauma has been normalized in social constructs erected by the wayward wizards. The choice to heal it within ourselves is key to stopping the cycle of abuse, and to taking down the structures of death and disease! Not surprisingly, Gary, I am in the process of writing my own article that includes trauma as an important concept😉. Keep up the great research and writing!
In Reichian Character Structure, people of the Oral type tend to stay open when it would be better to close. It develops from a lack of felt connection with the mother in the first year and results in them feeling compelled to stay open to connection.
I love this piece. There is so much to it!! This quote particularly resonates with me: "one way to tell the difference between carried negative feelings and our own healthy ones is that the carried ones overwhelm us, whereas our own are not so intense." I think of my father’s flashes into rage - and my (much smaller) rage responses, vs reasonable anger responses. Those flashes are what first got me to give therapy a try - then I thought a session or 2 would take care of things!!! I’ve had such a flash 2 days ago - an awful experience with someone incompetent, but my response was over-intense. It was resolved fine. I did a very strongly worded complaint, entirely holding the incompetent person responsible for incompetence. The incompetent person is OUT, has been replaced by someone who seems way way more suited (vs totally unsuited) and who cares to be competent, which means this should work out fine.
Anyway, this is on a tiny part of what you write. Excellent.
I think of the way that the fear porn industry violates boundaries, induces both fear and rage. I think also of how we the AWAKE often flash into counter-rage combined often with a sense of powerlessness - as if we were helpless children.
As "invasions of other peoples space", don't forget the cell phone amber alerts that can't be blocked by the phone owners, for the greater good, as it were.
Yes, definitely an invasion and a way to keep people in fear. I found you could turn them off, a least in the uk... by turning off "Notifcations" for Emergencies in the app setting? At least I hope that will stop it...
Thank you. This is a great article and very nicely accessible for readers. I have written about these issues a bit in relation to the current crises we are living through which have so many psychological connotations.
recently i discovered that my mother is a self righteous narcissist ( a diagnosis i made, not officially but its clear if you read up on this sub type of narcissist) and at the time i though ok this explains a lot but reading this article really put it together.
sometimes we dont even know that our childhood was abnormal because its all we know
I find this a lot, especially in folks with a chronic illness, when I talk about the probable causal role of childhood experiences, they often remember their childhood as idyllic, and at first dismiss the idea. Some of this is due to not knowing what healthy parenting should look like, and some due to having blocked access or disconnected from negative things that happened.
Hi Gary. I appreciate your posts because they address our emotional and psychological side as human beings. It was touching that you mentioned your own negative experience with a toxic person and that made it relatable to your topic.
Years ago, I searched through many self-help books to overcome and surpass such toxic experiences past and current and the book that most resonated with me had the title Boundaries. I don't remember the author as all the books I read were from libraries. I was actually mocked for my pile of books as I was trying to understand and heal my sense of powerlessness. That is how cruel people actually are.
An upside to the sensitivity some of us have to those around us is that we can use it as a tool to read the world and those around us. Provided we are deliberate in its use, we can call ourselves advantaged as having a 6th sense that others lack. I have been in numerous situations where I have recognized risk and potentially dangerous people whereas everyone around me was completely oblivious. It has been shocking to me how "blind" so many people are. Especially in the times we are in, we might consider our gifted perceptions a gift. My best to you.
Terrific, specially as I followed some helpful links re ACE etc. I felt and something significantly liberating, joining up some vital dots, together with previous insights into CEN and your notes on body memories. Very helpful.
Heidi, you commented on my "ancestral trauma" reply but I only received in my email. It is not available here. I just thought you'd want to know. I visited your Substack and will read through some of your posts as my "free" time permits!
I am glad that you had a resource to help with your concerns. I was fortunate in my late teens and twenties to find similar authors with well-thought approaches to deep inner healing.
My journey has been a long one. The book I recommended is the last one I have read on the topic. I have so many books but it's in my top 3 for self help inner child work.
We are all either busy undoing the damage of ancestral trauma or, having finished that work, standing our ground against the wayward wizards and their cushy-job-keeping career clowns in government, its agencies, its secret agencies, its out-and-about corporate demon agencies, and the compromised bastards on the streets.
Inspired by Kathleen's article https://devanneykathleen.substack.com/p/when-no-becomes-yes and
Yolanda Pritam Hari's article https://yolandapritamhari.substack.com/p/boundaries-in-the-nouveau-narcissist
Thanks for the mention Gary.
I think pretty much everyone I know can relate to this. Indeed while reading it different people in my life came to mind, myself included.
It points to, a deeper level of dysfunction at a world level, the world we are born into, where we are all subjected to an 'abusive' terrain and are attempting to adjust to it before we have any map or even conscious understanding. It's a traumatic place. Even with good intentions, love and compassion present, we swim in this, as do our foundational care givers.
Helpful information. I appreciate your sharing resources that have proven helpful to you.
Here is another good post exploring themes of "saying no" https://ponerology.substack.com/p/just-say-no-the-grand-refusal
Thank you, Gary.
Thanks. I agree we have created`a dysfunctional "mirror" world, where trauma and abuse are normalized. It seems this has been/is being done on purpose to the younger generations, and I worry that if Gen X can't turn things around in our lifetime, it maybe too late.
Ancestral trauma has been normalized in social constructs erected by the wayward wizards. The choice to heal it within ourselves is key to stopping the cycle of abuse, and to taking down the structures of death and disease! Not surprisingly, Gary, I am in the process of writing my own article that includes trauma as an important concept😉. Keep up the great research and writing!
Looking forward to your take on this!
In Reichian Character Structure, people of the Oral type tend to stay open when it would be better to close. It develops from a lack of felt connection with the mother in the first year and results in them feeling compelled to stay open to connection.
Reminds me I saved your recent post on Reichian types... off to read it now...
I love this piece. There is so much to it!! This quote particularly resonates with me: "one way to tell the difference between carried negative feelings and our own healthy ones is that the carried ones overwhelm us, whereas our own are not so intense." I think of my father’s flashes into rage - and my (much smaller) rage responses, vs reasonable anger responses. Those flashes are what first got me to give therapy a try - then I thought a session or 2 would take care of things!!! I’ve had such a flash 2 days ago - an awful experience with someone incompetent, but my response was over-intense. It was resolved fine. I did a very strongly worded complaint, entirely holding the incompetent person responsible for incompetence. The incompetent person is OUT, has been replaced by someone who seems way way more suited (vs totally unsuited) and who cares to be competent, which means this should work out fine.
Anyway, this is on a tiny part of what you write. Excellent.
I think of the way that the fear porn industry violates boundaries, induces both fear and rage. I think also of how we the AWAKE often flash into counter-rage combined often with a sense of powerlessness - as if we were helpless children.
Over and over, Gary, THANK YOU!!!
As "invasions of other peoples space", don't forget the cell phone amber alerts that can't be blocked by the phone owners, for the greater good, as it were.
Yes, definitely an invasion and a way to keep people in fear. I found you could turn them off, a least in the uk... by turning off "Notifcations" for Emergencies in the app setting? At least I hope that will stop it...
Thank you. This is a great article and very nicely accessible for readers. I have written about these issues a bit in relation to the current crises we are living through which have so many psychological connotations.
Thank you Gary. Thank you Elsa for cross posting this.
recently i discovered that my mother is a self righteous narcissist ( a diagnosis i made, not officially but its clear if you read up on this sub type of narcissist) and at the time i though ok this explains a lot but reading this article really put it together.
sometimes we dont even know that our childhood was abnormal because its all we know
I find this a lot, especially in folks with a chronic illness, when I talk about the probable causal role of childhood experiences, they often remember their childhood as idyllic, and at first dismiss the idea. Some of this is due to not knowing what healthy parenting should look like, and some due to having blocked access or disconnected from negative things that happened.
Hi Gary. I appreciate your posts because they address our emotional and psychological side as human beings. It was touching that you mentioned your own negative experience with a toxic person and that made it relatable to your topic.
Years ago, I searched through many self-help books to overcome and surpass such toxic experiences past and current and the book that most resonated with me had the title Boundaries. I don't remember the author as all the books I read were from libraries. I was actually mocked for my pile of books as I was trying to understand and heal my sense of powerlessness. That is how cruel people actually are.
An upside to the sensitivity some of us have to those around us is that we can use it as a tool to read the world and those around us. Provided we are deliberate in its use, we can call ourselves advantaged as having a 6th sense that others lack. I have been in numerous situations where I have recognized risk and potentially dangerous people whereas everyone around me was completely oblivious. It has been shocking to me how "blind" so many people are. Especially in the times we are in, we might consider our gifted perceptions a gift. My best to you.
Thanks for the information...very powerful and worthwhile
Terrific, specially as I followed some helpful links re ACE etc. I felt and something significantly liberating, joining up some vital dots, together with previous insights into CEN and your notes on body memories. Very helpful.
Glad it is helpful. That is what makes sharing worthwhile, and healing for myself too.
Setting boundaries and energy conservation is so important for recovery from chronic illnesses.
❤ I love this. Very wise.
Heidi, you commented on my "ancestral trauma" reply but I only received in my email. It is not available here. I just thought you'd want to know. I visited your Substack and will read through some of your posts as my "free" time permits!
Thank you Sharine 🙏
I am glad that you had a resource to help with your concerns. I was fortunate in my late teens and twenties to find similar authors with well-thought approaches to deep inner healing.
Thank you Sharine.
My journey has been a long one. The book I recommended is the last one I have read on the topic. I have so many books but it's in my top 3 for self help inner child work.
I'm a work in progress.
We are all either busy undoing the damage of ancestral trauma or, having finished that work, standing our ground against the wayward wizards and their cushy-job-keeping career clowns in government, its agencies, its secret agencies, its out-and-about corporate demon agencies, and the compromised bastards on the streets.