Thanks for this, Gary. Your post brings Socrates to mind: "The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new."
Really, really good, helping us to raise our thoughts, our gaze, to a higher realm get some practical help and have each other on the way. I loved this, thanks.
Thanks, Gary. Wise words here - and I relate to much in terms of my own softening over the years despite ongoing sadness and dulled (now) shock.
Yes, we must continue to dialog. When I'm confronted with a closed mind or angry response to what I'm saying, rather than getting more fervent (and obnoxious) I pull out neutralizing sentences. "We listen to very different information, naturally we've come to different conclusions" as example, which you can see relaxes them almost immediately. We're learning new skills on the job, as it were. Appreciate your contributions - and congrats on the growing success of your stack!
Look into Braver Angels...they are into what you are picking up here...easy to ask for, hard to do in practice because people are traumatized (big and little t traumas) and we don't hold space well, like to defend our position, and in doing so annihilate others....
Yes, we make it clear that we're sharing our own perceptions, which is taking personal responsibility and acting as a role model during the dialectic.
And as Kathryn Devanney said, we're acknowledging the fact that we read/view different information, so we come to different conclusions (or at least follow different trajectories).
Of course, some of us are using critical thinking rather than parroting "experts" and "authorities," but therein lies the difference between acting out of courage rather than cowering in fear.
Thanks for this, Gary. Your post brings Socrates to mind: "The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new."
Yes! That goes for healing too!
Really, really good, helping us to raise our thoughts, our gaze, to a higher realm get some practical help and have each other on the way. I loved this, thanks.
Thank you!
Thanks, Gary. Wise words here - and I relate to much in terms of my own softening over the years despite ongoing sadness and dulled (now) shock.
Yes, we must continue to dialog. When I'm confronted with a closed mind or angry response to what I'm saying, rather than getting more fervent (and obnoxious) I pull out neutralizing sentences. "We listen to very different information, naturally we've come to different conclusions" as example, which you can see relaxes them almost immediately. We're learning new skills on the job, as it were. Appreciate your contributions - and congrats on the growing success of your stack!
Thats a good one. We should collate the things we have found which work somewhere, and the attempts which don't work too.
very good! dialogue and non violence. I am with you all the way.
Excellent article. Thank you so much for your thoughts on this I found it really helpful.
Thanks for this feedback.
I'm happy to be sharing space and stories on your journey, Gary.
Look into Braver Angels...they are into what you are picking up here...easy to ask for, hard to do in practice because people are traumatized (big and little t traumas) and we don't hold space well, like to defend our position, and in doing so annihilate others....
Good article, Gary, with some useful tools when practicing "dialectic"!
I like to use these phrases:
"In my experience..." or "It is my comprehension that..." to avoid being preachy.
Yes, I use "I believe", "I feel", "in my view", "to my mind" a lot intentionally.
Yes, we make it clear that we're sharing our own perceptions, which is taking personal responsibility and acting as a role model during the dialectic.
And as Kathryn Devanney said, we're acknowledging the fact that we read/view different information, so we come to different conclusions (or at least follow different trajectories).
Of course, some of us are using critical thinking rather than parroting "experts" and "authorities," but therein lies the difference between acting out of courage rather than cowering in fear.
Oh yeah! They have cast it as "Stick to Values" so the operative letter is then "S" - I will change this.