Book Review: "Grounded: Discovering the Missing Piece in the Puzzle of Children's Behaviour"

Author: Claire Wilson

“Must read book for anyone interested in the wellbeing and behaviours of children (and in chronic illness/trauma too)!”

I have written a lot myself about Dr Stephen Porges’ work on understanding our Nervous System's defensive systems and the resulting concept of healing through feeling Safe by being with appropriate others ("social engagement", “co-regulation”). Indeed, I have sought the practical and applicable learnings from Dr Porges’ work for recovery and symptom reduction of chronic health conditions. The application of Porges’ research have proven it to be a pragmatic, predictive theory, through the major successes of interventions such as the “Safe and Sound Protocol”:

The Ears as a Portal into the Nervous System

I am hearing a lot about this practical application of the theory now from people saying it changed their lives for the better, including for traumatic brain injury.

A fellow traveller along this path is Claire Wilson, whose own interest is the welfare of children and understanding and resolving unhappy behaviours, about which she is very passionate. Here is Claire’s TEDx talk:

I actually believe these two applications of the research (children's wellbeing and chronic illness) are much more closely aligned than we might think, as the affinity between chronic conditions arising from trauma and children's development is very strong. Indeed, Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) are known to significantly increase the chances of getting a chronic illness diagnosis later in life:

Adverse Experiences, Stressful Episodes and Chronic Diseases

Conversely, the Nervous System in chronic illness reverts to a maladapted version of a more childlike state, including the inability to “self-regulate” as adults, and the requirement of becoming reliant on caregiving (or, in a sense, “mothering”) again in later life:

The Fawning and Appeasement Survival Responses

So I do feel there is a lot to be learned through cross-fertilization of these applications, and this is why I am so interested in Claire’s work myself.

Claire’s book, “Grounded”, explores and explains the theory in a way which is accessible for anyone, but in particular for parents, teachers and child welfare therapists. The power of the book, however, is in the translation of theory into simple practical and pragmatic advice and approaches. These are strongly supported by real world evidence of the resolution and turn around of unhappy behaviours that Claire and her clients have seen over and over again, in real life of real families or real classrooms.

Claire writes in a unique conversational style, such that through the book, she manages to talk with parents and teachers, rather than at them. Her occasional newsletters are also very well done.

In summary, I strongly recommend this book for parents everywhere.

Actually, I believe the way Claire is able to translate the Nervous System research into simple, applicable terms, makes the book a must read for all of us. We all have something to learn, and there is something we can all take away from it to improve or own lives and resolve our own unhappy behaviours.